Since the beginning of my CMC journey here at Rollins, the concept of ideologies has always been one that both fascinates and frustrates me. Once I had been exposed to these ideologies, and the way that ideologies manifest within my own life, it seems there is also no way of escaping them, no matter how aware I am of them. Whether this be what I find fashionable the fall, or whether this be how I view my own body, ideologies have completely formulated me as a person in this society. Now that I have been exposed to this though, I at least take comfort in recognizing that the way I live my life is constructed, rather than naively living under the impression that I am actually making my own decisions. The ideologies that continue to frustrate me and confuse me the most though, would be those that determine what a "proper" education should be, whether this simply be a grade school education or relate to a higher level of education.
Before coming to college, I had no idea what to look for in a school or education. I am the first person in my family to attend any institution for higher education, so I felt that the best way to go about it would be to do it by the books; get the best grades in high school so I can attend the best, most expensive private school I can find, as far away from home as possible, in an attempt to receive the best education possible in the hopes to eventually obtain the most satisfying and prosperous career track possible, as I was taught by not only my parents, but also by my high school and by my community. I say this with an admiration for Rollins, truly. I know we spent a large chunk of time this week critiquing the subcultures of this institution, but it would be wrong of me to critique this place without first expressing how immensely it has impacted and changed, not only my life, but myself as a person. That's the purpose of higher education, right? Or so we're told. Children, from the time the enter middle school, are taught that pursuing a college education is the best way to truly achieve the "American Dream" but, living in a country where a large percentage of its citizens collectively own trillions upon trillions of dollars in student loans, is it really right to set these aspirations in the minds of young children? I am one of these citizens; a person that has bought into the idea that the more you spend on a college education the more it will bring you in the future, simply because that is what society has taught me to believe. Society has taught me that education has a price tag, and that certain kinds of educations from certain kinds of institutions are valued moreso than others, but in reality, that is not necessarily true. There is certainly merit in receiving a degree of higher education, but I believe that because education is now such a critical piece to the "American Dream" stepping ladder, we forget to question whether this determined collegiate path is actually one that will benefit us in the future. I have many friends now, who have also begun to question this and try to step outside of this ideology by attending state schools and community colleges for their education in the hopes of not joining those of us swallowed by student debt. Even then, they are still attending college because the common ideology set forth within this country is that college = job, when for decades before us, people where making it and breaking it regardless of whether they were educated past high school or not.
As I begin to enter this next chapter of my life and look towards undergraduate graduation, I can't help but think about the impending loan payments that are also going to define this next chapter of my life, and a little part of me can't help but wonder whether the decisions that "I" made in terms of my education, are really going to pay off in the long run or not. Consumerism and the ideologies associated with it, has spread its influences into the higher education system, and has now made it impossible to refuse this ideology if one wants to survive into the future financially. But as I think now, I look to the position my boyfriend has saddled himself in. Having graduated high school and received an education from the Army Reserves, he currently sits comfortably and happily in a management position for Apple, in which he makes more an hour than most college graduates will receive in their entire lifetime. Of all the things that my college education has definitely given me, financial stability is not one of them. So, as much as Rollins has done for me these past three years, I also, as a CMC student, sit here and question whether this will truly be worth it in the end.